Social Media - Sharenting

Following on from my previous post about the beast of social media where I briefly mentioned my concerns as a future parent in this age. I came across an article on BBC News regarding a new term which I had not come across before now... Sharenting.

Sharenting is supposedly the act of parents sharing news and pictures of their children on social media outlets such as Instagram, Facebook and so on often to publicly viewable profiles.

Has privacy and permissions regarding personal data gone too far in this modern age when children are accusing parents of breaching their right of privacy?

From my view, this all seems crazy. I get the need for privacy online, and am I for keeping your life hidden from the public and prying eyes of unwanted parties, however is the issue about the act of Sharenting or is it more about the issue with publicly viewable profiles. I think it's the latter.

The BBC article's quotes from their sources seem to lean towards the issue being that the images are publicly viewable rather than the presence of photos being online. So, surely what needs to be done, rather than images being removed and probably court cases coming up because of all this because parents are refusing to, some education to the parents regarding data security. I am sure those in the work places have gone through some education on the whole GDPR thing and should have passed some basic tests as part of their work requirements, but should it be more universal in this day and age.

I have seen some wonderful ideas being bandied about the interwebs regarding creation of profiles for children, collation of photos on an email to have a timeline for them to take over once of a certain age and the like. All of which sound like something sweet, awesome and something I'd have loved to have for myself. However, they need to all be done in a safe and secure way.

I have mentioned in my previous posts about embarrassing baby photos shown to the spouse by my parents. Now imagine if the naked baby pictures are up for all to see... think future employers, future lovers, friends and enemies. The damage is endless if you think about it. But if this is done in a safe and secure way the damage is virtually none. Private and secure profiles only viewable by the parents until a certain age, albums of photos password protected, or set to private for no-one to see are a few ways I can think of without much research into the topic.

As with the majority of things, Sharenting can be done, can be very positive and a blessing if it is does with tack, careful planning and in a secure manner. I, for one, would be a huge advocate of this 'Sharenting' business once it is my turn to raise a mini version of myself, however I would go for a tactful approach as it would not be about boasting or promoting the children, parenting skills or what ever, it would literally be a chronicling of the early years of the child. Mainly to create lovely memories in a format which would not be lost in a fire, flood or other natural disasters.

Would be interesting to hear others voices on this supposedly divisive topic of Sharenting in this modern world. Comment away!!

Social Media - The Beast of the Modern Age

Following on from my last post, as it was getting very long (longer than I had imagined) I decided to split that post as a setting the scene of my social media history and this post will get onto the problems of the modern age social media.

Having watched the Netflix documentary (Social_Animals), it made me realize that I am so happy and relieved that I am not growing up and in my teens now, in 2019.

The reliance on social media is crazy, and as someone on the periphery of social circles and normality, I have never understood this craze for likes from random people or the need for a picture perfect life to show others.

I mean, some people spend hours of time getting ready for a single image on their social media account which is followed by hundreds/thousands of random people who they have never met to just paw over and gawk at. Kids are getting into social media at younger ages, you see 10yr olds girls posing like models and middle aged men commenting on their pictures in a lewd manner which is beyond creepy. Is that sort of attention really what they want? Does that really make them feel better? One thing I am sure about, if a middle aged man made lewd comments over a 10yr old girl in public, face to face... there is no way the kid would be happy, they'd be scared and worried for their life. I can also say, there is no way in hell anyone would think it was acceptable either.

I've heard stories about people going onto their own photos as fake profiles to give negative comments and say abusive stuff to get more attention from friends. I've seen couples out in public glued to their phones seemingly oblivious to the world around them and the company they are out with. You get keyboard warriors and trolls who find it worth their time to berate random people for their content on youtube, their photos on their timeline or other things where if in person, in real life, it wouldn't even cross their mind to comment on. You get the idiots who seem to get a buzz out of causing grief to others online from behind the safety of their screen. The arseholes of the world have taken over a platform which was supposed to be used for a positive thing and have turned it into a nightmare which is causing countless suicides in young people, yet no-one feels accountable for what they say online.

When I say a platform for positive uses, I have experience of this as I met my ex through Myspace, my current spouse was a friend of theirs (i know a little awkward). Upon the break-up of the ex and I, Myspace provided the platform for communication for me, an awkward, shy and low on confidence person to be able to express myself in a way which took away such anxiety of the awkwardness of flirting and the pre-dating routines. Online messengers were a godsend for me. I overthink everything, struggle to get into conversations because I worry too much I'd say the wrong thing, get nervous about such things with people there, able to see me fail miserably at social contact. But, online messaging took all the issues away for me, i was able to be the funny, charming and awkwardly weird but in a good way person I am which would normally only be reserved to the few close friends who actually know me.

These messaging systems nowadays though, have a twisted nature about them. Constant harassment for nude pictures plague the majority of people on social media. They have become a platform for easy bullying where you don't even need to be with them to affect your target and with only a few taps at the keyboard. What was used as a great way for friends to catch up after school, or friends from other cities to keep in touch has become a monster fueled by trolls and cowards hiding behind their screens.

I am now at the age where a family, kids, are on the mind. We have a house, so next up is kids. But along with the usual fears of screwing them up, being a failure of a parent etc. etc. is this horrible uncontrollable thing which needs to be managed. How the hell would one protect their offspring from the evil side of social media without ruining the kid's life for being disconnected in such an interactive world we now live in.

Social media wasn't really about until my teens. My parents had none of these worries. The only pressure they had from me was to try and keep up with the ever developing phone industry. When social media got going, my parents had no idea about what it was, it's potential or it's dangers and luckily for them, it seems I was a responsible enough person to understand it myself. But when children in this age are being exposed to social media at younger and younger ages, in all honesty, it scares me shitless as I have no idea of how to manage such a problem without holding my child back and distancing them from their friends.

If there are parents out there who can assist in this feel free to comment as it is a genuine worry for me. How do you control the monster that social media has become and protect your children while not affecting their potential popularity?

Social Media - A British Perspective

As mentioned in the intro post, I have recently watched through the Netflix Documentary 'Social_Animals' and this is a movie which follows three teens through their experiences with social media in the USA. Now, I know for a start that the US always does things bigger than the UK, so the issues, use etc. is blown more out of proportion over the pond so don't expect such drama over here.

I started my foray into social media a long, long time ago, even then I believe I was late to the game among my peers. I believe it started with a probably long forgotten website called Bebo. I honestly don't remember a huge amount about this website or my goings on (memories are a wonderful by elusive thing it would seem), but it should shed some light on the fact that I am from that generation which has literally grown up alongside social media. I was pretty much there from the early years of the craze.

Bebo didn't last long before Myspace popped around and took the world by storm. It was the must have thing, and not only did you have to have the usual (lots of friends, likes, comments etc.) but you had to have the best, most interactive or customized background with the coolest music embedded into your site. I have fond memories of Myspace, not only was it a place which you could express yourself in many many ways, but it was a place to find new music which, before Youtube was about, was only really able to be done by word of mouth, or magazines with free CDs in.

Then Zuckerberg came about and brought in Facebook. Suddenly is wasn't ok to have Myspace anymore and you had to reinvent yourself in a much more basic tone for Facebook. Facebook is now the main bit of social media I have. I've played about with Twitter, Instagram etc. but to someone who isn't keen to broadcast much publicly about their lives, the new guise of social media is not something I really get involved with.

How I use social media goes against pretty much everything that is 'cool' or 'popular'. I am not one of those glitzy girls who posts countless selfies or photos of little clothing in a alluring pose, neither am I one of the guys who posts pictures or their muscles and boasting about their gym exploits. I am not a hipster who is not content with a dinner or plate of food unless it is pictured and posted on their many accounts prior to the plate of food actually fulfilling its main purpose of providing the body with fuel. I don't have countless 'friends' and don't post pictures for the sole purpose for getting likes.

I literally have just the people I know on Facebook. You know, the likes of old school friends, university friends, old colleagues I have moved on from and wanted to stay in contact and friends of the spouse. Although there are often friend requests from others I see little point in accepting random people into what is pretty much a documentary of my life.

I post photos of my experiences, days out with friends, holidays, sport events I have been to and wonderful sights I want to remember. I post the odd selfie of my spouse and I of date nights or others times we go out and about from our abode. The posts and pictures held on my account our memories of my life, nicely set out in date order and of which Facebook now reminds me with a nice set of memories from each day. These memories, be it photos or status updates are there for one purpose only, and that is for my own pleasure. I do not care what others think of my page, posts or pictures and luckily I have never been part of the world of horrid comments which shows that the world seems to reciprocate those feelings.

There are some embarrassing photos up on the page of my early days, my haircuts are shameful and my years in university with shoulder length hair are beyond horrific. But they are my life events and are what made me, me. They are the sort of pictures you look through and laugh about with friends, loved ones and one day maybe the kids. I see it as the modern day photo albums, like the ones my parents pull out with baby pictures of me so the spouse could laugh at them.

I am in the point of my life where I am beginning to take stock of my life and where I am. I am beginning to realize I do not want nor need attention from random people on the internet and am perfectly happy in my life without the stress of the online community of trolls and keyboard warriors. I have had a youtube channel set up for a while and am one of those small time channels ~1000 subs and I take the approach with the comment section where if the comment has no context or is just plain rude it will not be accepted and I delete it without any further thoughts about it.

But, having said all this, it seems that I am in the minority with this sort of thinking. In the modern world going on out there without me, this beast of Social Media is running amok.

A Foray into the Unknown

Obviously, I am new to the blogging community and generally figure that I have the sort of life which doesn't warrant blogging about. But recently I have decided to give this thing a go, if not only as a nice way of airing out frustrations with life in England, commuting in London or other minor annoyances of the modern day world.

So just to set the scene, I have grown up with technology, having gone through the early years of social media site such as bebo, myspace and facebook but have never had a sizable following (or ever a meager one for that matter!). I am past all the school years, university and am now into, what is called, adult life with a house and a spouse. I'm one of those quiet people, shying away from the attention, lurking in the corners of rooms and avoiding social occasions at almost all cost, probably the sort of quiet person others say are always the ones to watch... however, if you did there wouldn't be a whole lot to see.

I have had a good life so far, good education, stable close group of friends and a wonderful fulfilling relationship which is still going as strong as it was 10 years ago. I went to Uni to study engineering and came away with a boring 2:1 degree which lead me to the (realistic) job I wanted as a kid. Reading that back as I type it, life has been very good, so you'd think there wouldn't be a huge amount to complain about, but this is the modern era we are talking about. First world problems are the biggest and most numerously talked about and serious issues are ignored and passed up. People seem to care more about what 'celebrities' are up to than what their own friends or family are.

I love my tech and the buzz of the internet, but I have never got a handle on the pull of social media. I have used the early starters in the 90s and 00s before facebook took a handle on the title. I have toyed with the idea of twitter, but the thought of having to vocalize everything little thing in my head for the world to see seemed 1) scary, 2) inappropriate and 3) boring as hell for anyone to view. I've looked many times into how to create vlogs on youtube, constantly reading over 'how to create a successful blog' posts and reviews but then coming to the realization that 1) I need a decent personality for it, 2) I need a better and more audible voice, and 3) I need to be better looking and more memorable/likable, so decided that it was not a good idea.

So that is a little about me to set up this blog space, I know it hasn't really delved much into the potential on-goings of this blog, topics or the likes but I will keep this space fluid to suit my needs and maybe those of the readers.

I can mention though, the 2nd post will be on the topic of social media, especially after watching the Netflix show Social_Animals.